Pushing water uphill...

The good news is that we don't have to make self-will work. Attempting to make the rest of the world conform to what we think we want is a little like trying to push water uphill. It's not only frustrating, it's exhausting...

This is an excerpt from today's Meditation called, Inner Harvest. It goes on to say how when we are self-willed we are stuck in our fantasy and if we let go, we can move with the "rhythm of reality" and listen to our inner voice so that we can be useful for what it is we do best.

It's amazing how self-willed I was in trying to control my food and exercise. I wouldn't let anyone tell me that I had a problem. I was eating healthy and running marathons. I was an athlete for pete's sake! Meanwhile, I was isolating. I was blocking people out of my life because I was so self-willed in controlling that stuff, and I was hurting other people doing it. I was losing friends, and it sucked. What was so amazing when I got into recovery, is that I found people who had similar journeys and the people who could help me get healthier. I finally found ME! What a concept. I wouldn't give the joy I am finding on this journey up for any piece of sugary goodness.

Funny, someone said to me about a week ago as he was enjoying homemade chocolate chip cookies, "So you never even reward yourself with one of these?" I couldn't believe it. Out of my mouth came, "Honey, I don't need that to reward myself anymore. I got better things to do that." And we laughed hysterically.

I'm extremely grateful today that i can live in the "rhythm of reality" without turning to the food to cope with it.