You're beautiful, whether you know it or not...

Watch this video, then read my blog:




I first heard this song a few weeks ago in my car and the tears started to stream. What an appropriate title for such a beautiful song. When I hear it, and watch this video I think of the women in my life who deserve to hear this. I even think of the men who deserve to hear how handsome they are. Some days that unhealthy self-worth voice tells us we aren't good enough, or beautiful enough. And for some of us, it's been stuck there for a while. It never serves us to go into addictions or hate ourselves or focus on negative thoughts. It only makes the devil happy. No matter how much we hate ourselves, he's right in our hearts telling us "It doesn't matter what you say or do to yourself. I love you no matter what. I want you to believe in yourself." It took me a long time to understand that, because for so long I thought I wasn't good enough to be loved by Him. Then I reached out for him and he was there all along and no matter what I'd done in my past or to myself, or how I felt - he still loved me. That's right - he loves me UNCONDITIONALLY NO MATTER WHAT. You know what else? I'm on a journey with him. The further I walk, the stronger I get...

You know a few summers ago I taught classes at a youth sports camp for little girls. I used an inspiring song every week I taught simply because music has gotten me through so much, and has moved me so much that I want to share it. Tonight, i'm speaking to a healthy girls group at St. Mary's College here in South Bend and I'm going to use this song. I want them to see that no matter how hard they are trying to be the best - they are loved. They don't have to fight so hard, because God loves them no matter how good their grades are or how fit they are...can't wait to share it.

If you are a woman that has crossed my path or not, and you've felt insecure - I'm thinking of you. I'm praying for you to see you how God sees you. Pretend he's sitting next to you. Feel this music. Read the lyrics. Watch the images. Replay it over and over again. Let Him love you like he wants you to.

You have a choice: Control your life or live it...

The title of this blog was the basic message at church today. It falls right in line with the whole recovery theme of "Let go and let God." and "God's will, not mine." When we are in our will, trying to control everything and do it OUR way - we usually aren't happy. So God just waits for us until we're ready to turn the steering wheel over to him.

I know that for a long time, I tried to control life. I wanted everything to happen according to my time and so I fought like hell to make that happen. But it didn't, and I ended up turning to things that numbed me because I couldn't get what I wanted when I wanted it. It wasn't until I turned my will over to God when I got into recovery that I realized I'm not God. I'm not the orchestrator of my purpose. I implement his will for me. But I don't orchestrate how it's going to go. And the funny part is, that doesn't mean that I never resist God. Are you kidding? Of course I do...But I also practice praying for his will for me and the power to carry that out because ultimately, that's the only way I'm going to live the best life I can. So I practice it. Sometimes it takes going through some hell, practicing patience. Other times it's through meditation. I know as someone who feels like I got a second chance at life, there is a lot I want to do to fulfill it but I also know - I've got to have patience to do it.

So, after hearing the message again today - I'm practicing following God's will even when it's hard. I've got a lot of good things coming in my life, a lot of unknowns. But I know in my heart that He will take care of me. I've just got to let him. As Jason Miller said today (I probably am a little off), but "You can try to control your life, or you can try to live it but only God can give you life."

What a gift cause if everything always went according to my plan, it sure would be boring!!!!